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By Hélène Demetriades, a therapist influenced by non-dual teachings Right from the beginning our biological urge for survival primes us to be guarded against life: one day our bodies will die. Until we fully embrace the flow of life, which includes physical death as part of that movement, we will continue to have the embedded belief that we are separate from each other, from life itself  – like a vase standing out from its background.  This goes hand in hand with the belief that there is something inherently wrong with us, that we are bad, unworthy, guilty of something undefinable, and that as a result something dangerous ‘out there’ will attack us. We were born into ‘sin’, or separation, or brought it upon ourselves like Adam and Eve. Our bodies contract, muscles and nervous systems pull back from life – beliefs  are reflected in bodies. Added to this to a greater or lesser extent, we have all lived through traumatic experiences that confirm the perception that …

By Scott Kiloby

“When we learn how to be present with feelings, thoughts, mental images and sensations, and are no longer disembodied, we truly break free. And as a result, it is easier to live from and as present moment awareness because we are ready and willing to meet everything we have been trying to avoid.”

We grow up disembodied if our parents don’t teach us how to feel. Our childhood can condition us not to come down into our bodies to feel our feelings, and to rest with them. We don’t always learn that. When we come to spiritual teachings, including nonduality, it’s quite normal for us to continue in that habit. What we really need are the teachings and the methods that correct this disembodiment. Sometimes the teachings don’t work because the teachers themselves, or those that are bringing the method, haven’t themselves broken the habit. I have done plenty of bypassing. If it seems like I’m pointing a finger somewhere, I’m pointi…

By Jeff Foster  One of the most challenging experiences we could possibly have is when we’re sitting with someone we love - a friend, a partner, mother, father, a loved one - and they’re in pain. You may also be a therapist working with someone who has come to you in a lot of pain. The pain could be physical or emotional. They could experience intense pain in their body or be going through huge changes in their emotions. They might experience grief, anger, sadness, or a sense of loss or confusion. Perhaps they feel as if their life is falling apart, that their heart is broken wide open. Maybe they’ve lost something or someone they thought belonged to them, and they’re in a place of absolute chaos. It can be challenging enough to meet the chaos and discomfort within ourselves, but what about meeting it in a loved one? Often that can leave us feeling so powerless and helpless. Stop rushing to make them better When we face a loved one in pain, so quickly, we rush to solve the…

The article consists of extracts from Fiona Roberston’s book ‘The Dark Night of the Soul: A Journey from Absence to Presence’    The spiritual journey is not a matter of transcending or somehow overcoming our humanity, but of maturing into the depths of it, of realising and becoming who we really and uniquely are. There is no end to this unfolding; it does not conclude in some triumphant attainment or achievement, nor does it confer specialness in any shape or form. Such metamorphosis is unconditional; opening to life in the present inevitably entails opening to the unfelt pain of the past. Self-knowledge and even wisdom are forged in the embodying of pain in a way that cannot be taught. Finding balance and reclaiming our deepest being Much of modern spirituality has lost its balance. The cult of lightness and so-called positivity is endemic. Those emotions characterised as negative—terror, fury, fear, shame, angst, guilt, outrage, grief, resentment, sadness, horro…

By Nic Higham "Beneath the stories about who you are, where you’ve been, and where you’re going is a deep receptivity which is both creative and accepting—it is the fundamental nondual source and also the unconditional embrace of your stories. It’s what I call Deep Knowing: an all-encompassing awareness that holds every experience." Shraddha is a Sanskrit term whose nearest English equivalent is “faith,” although this isn’t a brilliant translation. “Conviction” is another loose translation. Shraddha means “that which is placed in the heart.” When we take an honest look into our hearts, we find many unquestioned beliefs we’ve been holding onto for a long time. We can ask: “In what way do my fears and desires divert me from tranquility?” These structural beliefs form an unconscious map of reality which dictates our perception of ourselves and the world. As the Bhagavad Gita says, “A person is what his shraddha is”. Whatever we hold with affection and con…

To learn to see, to learn to hear, you must do this—go into the wilderness alone. —Don José

Fundamentally, at the heart of our suffering is our sense of separateness from life, which means that we experience life through the eyes of duality. I am separate from you. You and I live in a time-and-space-based world of countless people and objects. We might end up wondering about true connection or how to put an end to our separateness. 

Our sense of separation fuels our society’s every pursuit: material, psychological, professional, social, and spiritual. Innocently, we’re looking in the wrong places; assuming love, peace, acceptance—or whatever we’re seeking to be complete—is out there; seeking somewhere, something, or someone else. It’s our disconnection that triggers this outward seeking. This agitated deficiency only creates more division and suffering, bearing little fruit.

The origins of separation 

In psyc…