By Dr Anna Pittman 

There is something quite dramatic that occurs when we drop the habitual energetic, albeit clumsy ‘reach’ that we learned as children with our caretakers. This reach for certainty and connection. However it came to be for each of us, we all figured out how to act, what to do to ascertain that our presence is valuable, essential, and that we are lovable and vital. When we deeply feel this and withdraw this entangled way that we learned to desperately establish a connection, we can slowly – sometimes quickly – begin to see how incredibly outdated these strategies can be. Now, the masterful and well-rehearsed management skills of the ego are seen.

If we were to drop the incessant urge to fix or please or perform,
that even say, ‘yes, I deserve to exist,’
we have the opportunity to fall,
just like a floating feather in the air,
out of the false and predictable
into the timeless Dimension of Care.

Strategies to gain love certainly are well intended and obviously come from fear of loss of connection and as such, feel very necessary and logical at that. But, they are strategies. The loss of strategy insists that we then feel the ‘one’ that feels disconnected and lost, perhaps hurt, angered and confused. Deep breath, and yet, there is another prior experience to the pain of disconnection, and perhaps a few more. Ultimately, there is a state beyond the psychological tug of war between loneliness and intimacy.

From pleasing to allowing; fixing to honoring; assuming to trusting,
loneliness to interlude. From thinking and doing to feeling and being,
taking for granted to generosity and gratitude.
Honoring the expression of creation we are through the radically inclusive language of the heart.
Trusting me, you, us and the dynamic flow of ideas, intuitions, creativity and care.
Shall we add a healthy dose of curiosity for a fresh start?
Vulnerability in feeling and self-regulated sharing that doesn’t crumble either me or you.
Gratitude as love offered as a gift from the heart, genuine and true.
Allowing as the freedom to lean in for the dynamic, interdependence of connection
unburdened by the agenda of fear.
Non-judgement flavoring perceptions that invite shame and blame to disappear.

 

As Robert Wolfe shares:
“In the transcendence of the dualistic perception is the profound love which the nondual sages refer to. The Sanskrit term ananda is often translated into English as “bliss,” but the bliss is the consequence of experiencing unconditional love: the word unconditional is defined as “absolute.” This is love for all that exists: that means the “good,” the “bad,” and whatever is in between. It means a love that inclusively makes no distinction between what is manifested from moment to moment, and the omnipresent Totality which manifests it.”

From our innocence, we care. From our purity, we care. From the love of life, living itself into existence, we care. I ask you now, is there anything you have done, is not everything you have done out of care?
When prioritizing each step of remembering, we discover a ‘prior’ state,
and then another and another.
Uncovering and landing, jumping to rediscover
a motherly space within which all possibilities are seen.
Like a mirror reflecting without filter or smokescreen;
we do care.